Why does death always happen so Quick It goes by as if lit on a candle stick But if we all pray we will one day Be eternally Happy
Complete honesty & constructive suggestions and feed back wanted!
unknownanonymous Admin
Posts : 25 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2010-05-08
Subject: Re: Untitled Thu May 13, 2010 12:28 am
I like it, but it just seems a bit immature. Try making every other line rhyme - Note: not every poem rhymes, or has to rhyme to be good, but I think it will benefit you. Also, try putting a little more heart, soul, and I HATE to say this and normally never would but: Fancier words.
Thu May 13, 2010 12:28 am by 
Subject: Untitled 
